I recently returned from skiing in Park City with two of my favorite girlfriends. This same threesome skied Whistler last year. You may be assuming I’m a proficient skier – you would be wrong. In fact, while there are moments of joy and feeling in sync with my skis, most of me just wants to get to the bottom.
So why keep skiing? For the same reasons you keep trying things even when there’s little forward movement. Giving up means failure. Being included makes us feel special. And our habitual practice of comparing ourselves to others makes us feel inadequate and lacking, which causes us to strive even harder.
But on this trip, something happened that freed me from being hostage to this way of thinking. (At least on this issue.)
I fell. Done that before but this fall fired up an old hamstring injury and my left ski would not follow my direction no matter what adjustments I made. I went from being the star of my ski class to bringing up the rear. I did ski the next day but, with my friends’ urging, took the next day off . This break from the slopes and time alone gave me the space I needed to ask myself some pointed questions – questions that shifted my thinking and led to different choices. Here’s the short version of my process:
- Do I like skiing?
- What are my expectations and how much time and money do I want to invest to achieve that?
- Where does skiing fit into my priorities? What’s higher on the list that’s being ignored or compromised?
- What am I grateful for that’s already in my life?
The short answer was this: No, I don’t like skiing and there’s a long list of things I’d rather be doing than improving my skills on the slopes. By taking the time to look within for answers, I was able to quiet outside influences and see how skiing and all it required was causing me stress and inner conflict.
When we create the space to bring clarity, we get the unfiltered information we need to weigh pros and cons in ways that are healthy and self-loving.
Here for your success and happiness,
P.S. This process also reminded me of something I share with my clients all the time – every choice we make either moves us towards our priorities and true desires or away from them. You must grab my 6 practices proven to help you make smarter decisions, forge deeper connections and achieve more of what you want.